Burger King’s ‘Whopperrito’ Sure Better Not Have Actual Puppies (Perritos) in Them

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Unleashed today is Burger King’s new dogged item on their menu: The Whopperrito. As you may have guessed, it’s a wrapped-up Whopper in a flour tortilla, but with pickles and a special queso sauce. There’s no mayo. And we certainly hope there are no actual puppies (perritos) in it.

In other words, it’s a Tex-Mex emetic mashup not even Taco Bell would bring to their own menu. And they had an actual dog as a mascot.

Stephen Colbert could’ve not said it better:

“The Whopperrito is the Whopper wrapped up like a Burrito. It’s great if you love both of those foods and hate yourself. Really sounds like a suicide pact. […] I’m guessing the Whopperrito is not gonna have a lot of Hispanic fans.”

You think?

Burger King is glamorizing an otherwise bland, cheap wrap you could get prepared in a dorm room, by attempting to conquer the burrito business. Except the Whopperrito is not a burrito, and the food manufacturer has no business meddling in the burrito business. Alex Macedo, North American president at Burger King describes this unholy fusion as “…not too spicy. It’s funky, but it’s not polarizing.” Why?  Because The Whopperrito is meant to appeal to all Americans.

Sure, let’s appeal to all Americans by devaluing Mexican food and calling it “perrito,” when it’s not even close to an actual burrito. Who thought of calling the item whop-dog?

Let that sink in.

Now, try to digest it.

Please help us.

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