A Bunch of Financial Journalists Decided to Openly Mock Puerto Rico’s Debt Crisis in a Tone-Deaf DESPACITO ‘Skit’

Nov 11, 2018
11:51 am

UPDATE, November 12, 2018, 10:34am
The NYFWA has issued a statement:

NYFWA Statement Regarding the 2018 Financial Follies

“Some attendees of our Nov. 9 event took offense at certain parody songs that accompany the annual Financial Follies dinner. The NYFWA board wishes to make clear that was not our intention and we apologize for any offense taken. The NYFWA understands and supports the art and spirit of parody and satire which is, and has been, the 76-year tradition of the Financial Follies… It is an art form of nuanced messaging that must be taken in its full context, as must all forms of parody and satire. This year, that messaging included actors portraying sexist men in our ‘Me Too’ era, and ignorant bankers who fueled Puerto Rico’s debt crisis. Those were the intended targets of the skits. We regret any possible confusion that some in the audience might have drawn from the messaging; its intention was clearly to mock the perpetrators, not deride the victims.”

ORIGINAL STORY
And this weekend’s tone-deafness move comes from the New York Financial Writers Association’s Financial Follies fundraiser on Friday night in midtown Manhattan.

Let’s have Reuters’ Nick Brown explain:

There was actual video too about it:

We don’t know where to begin either.

Apparently, the “show” also decided to miss the mark on #MeToo as well:

So far, the NYFWA has been silent about the event, but we think that might change soon:

Latino Rebels contacted the organization for comment. As of this posting, it hasn’t responded.

And if you need an explanation as to why this skit from journalists was so problematic and insulting, then sadly, you are part of the problem. Puerto Rico’s debt crisis is a serious matter, caused by years of neo-colonialism. Having the Wall Street media crowd mock it… well, we have no words for it. Well, all except this one:

HERE ARE THE COMPLETE LYRICS TO THE DESPACITO SKIT:

PUERTO RICO
To the tune of “Despactio” by Luis Fonsi

BANKERS:
Ay
Palm trees!
Trustees!
Oh
Oh no, oh no
Oh
Oh yeah
De-li-de-li-de-li-de-linquent
Go!
Look, trust us that we cherish your tropical colony
We come from a little island, too
Manhattan
Hey, too bad about your infecundous economy
Looks like there’s some interest overdue
Oh
When, when punters wet their pants for Puerto Rico bonds
High-grade, triple-tax-free and with a fabulous yield
Bought our Maseratis with the underwriting fees
Oh yeah
Now, now your bad luck,
you owe seventy billion bucks
Which, of course, is more than you could ever pay
All your goodwill ain’t worth a steaming pile of feces
Despacito

PUERTO RICANS
Cut, cut. Stop the music. You ladrones stole our money and now you’re stealing our song? Who do you think you are, Justin Bieber?

BANKERS:
We can help you with your little bankruptcito
We know how to deal with cash emergencitos
We’re the brains, you’re the debtor in “el possessionito”
Despacito
Words turns into Spanish just by adding –ito
When we are in San Juan we drink mojito-itos
And look out for the Zika from the infected ‘squitos
(ito, ito, ito, ito, ito)
Here in brief is how we scammed you
Sorry but we had to
When everything went swiftly southward
No one else would buy our issues
(buy our issues, buy our issues, baby)
That’s when we sold them to you,
the dopes of Puerto Rico
Sold you on the need for safety
Although we knew they were hella shaky

PUERTO RICANS
Pendejos! That’s our retirement! Give us our money back!

BANKERS:
Your complaining is faintly ridiculous
Our legality’s meticulous
Foxy, yes, but we’re not villainous
Don’t be jiving as if we’re Caligulas
PREPA, PRASA, GDB,
Cofina and G.O. bond, bond
PREPA, PRASA, GDB,
Cofina and G.O. bond, bond
A stormy kind of romance with a whirlwind named Maria
FEMA, FEMA, FEMA ain’t coming and you’re eating wet tortillas
You keep calling D.C.
They say wait until mañana
You’ve been treated worse than our pet iguana

PUERTO RICANS
Yeah, you noticed?

BANKERS
Not our problem!
Deadbeato, deadbeato,
bankrupt, bankruptcito
You can’t even pay for a cold cuchifrito
So you’ve been surviving on aspirin and breadfruit
While the attorneys and bankers are trying to get cute
Deadbeato, deadbeato, bankrupt, bankruptcito
You can’t even pay for a cold cuchifrito
‘though you got Promesa, we ain’t Mother Theresa
Relief for San Juan is slower than a glacier
Despacito
Words turn into Spanish just by adding –ito
When we are in San Juan we drink mojito-itos
And look out for the Zika from infected ‘squitos
(ito, ito, ito, ito, ito)
Here in brief is how we scammed you
Sorry but we had to
When everything went swiftly southward
No one else would buy our issues (buy our issues, buy our issues, baby)
That’s when we sold them to you,
the dopes of Puerto Rico
Sold you on the need for safety
Although we knew they were hella shaky
Despacito

PUERTO RICANS
Yanquis, go home!

BANKERS:
This is how we do it down in Puerto Rico
Taking guidance from the M.D.’s on Wall Street
Going by the model in our little spreadsheet

PUERTO RICANS:
Wall Street-o, Wall Street-o,
money’s your libido
You are headed toward a complete-o, defeat-o
While we enlisted in Army
You chose Princeton, Yale, and Harvard
Elite-o, elite-o,
money’s your libido
You are headed for a complete-o, defeat-o

ALL:
Bankruptcy is warfare wholly
As this ordeal unwinds slowly, slowly
Despacito

UPDATE, November 13, 4pmET

Our founder spoke with Carolyn Crapo, President of the NYFWA. Here is a thread of what Carpo told him:

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