Thoughts and Prayers (A Poem)

Feb 15, 2018
9:24 AM

“Your silence will not protect you” – Audre Lorde

thoughts and prayers equal silence.
i will not remain silent
psalms not poems blood-stained in sutherland springs.
spoken words of the devout ricochet above baptism of carnage.
no more chanting.

another exodus of souls sent to meet their maker.
the view outside my window changed on 9/11 never to be forgotten.
the skyline is not the same.
there was a time soon after, brief but profound, when america was great.

guns still keep my sisters and brothers in check, perhaps more than ever.
color is irrelevant as bullets pierce skin.

forgive the shooter for his mental illness, personal revenge, anger,
never terrorism if he believes in god not allah.
whatever his or her name, hope they are watching us create our own hell.
these arms created to protect us from one another, also kill
the paradise that was promised.

i cannot comprehend how some love guns more than people.
i have been able to admit growth and change, even reluctant defeat
the only weapons i have ever held have been pens and pencils.
as a gay victim of a hate crime, as a latino, as someone who came from poverty and a broken home.
i have rights to fear and anger and perhaps even hate.

nothing will make a difference in the end.
pride sees no children, mothers-to-be, grandparents, married couples, families.
there will be more excuses, self-preservation, thoughts and prayers.
except for sadness and tears, all will be the same until next time.
there are no words to comfort here. there is disappointment and numbness.
there is no religion. there will be no solution. only death and more to come.


Emanuel Xavier is a poet. His works are at