Michael ‘El Bloombito’ Bloomberg’s First Interview as Candidate for President

Nov 11, 2019
11:37 AM

As former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg gets set to enter the 2020 presidential race so will the Twitter personality he inspired: @ElBloombito. I sat with bilingual Bloomberg for his first interview as a presidential candidate—in fact, his first interview since leaving the mayor’s office in 2013.


Andrew Padilla: First, THANK YOU, El Bloombito, for agreeing to sit down for this interview. I’m sure a lot of folks have been trying to get you on the record since you filed to run.

El Bloombito: Sí. Yo soy en mucho demando.

AP: I’ll start with the question that’s on everyone’s mind. In March, you said you were “clear-eyed about the difficulty” of winning the Democratic nomination. What changed?

EB: Es will be muy dificil pero yo tengo el hearto, el experienco, y mucho mas dinero than yo soy could puedo every spendo. Also afraido of feelingo el berno. El wealtho taxo will prevento mi Americoño dream. Un casa en each state.

AP: When you ran for mayor of NYC you were worth $5 billion, by the end of your tenure in 2013, Forbes estimated you were worth $27 billion. Today you are worth over $50 billion. Do you worry you’ll have trouble connecting with the other 99.9% of the US?

EB: No tengo trouble connectingo. Los 99 percentadors y yo tenemos mucho in common. Todos los everyone enjoys beachcasas, y vacaciones.

AP: Many have criticized Donald Trump for not serving his business ties as president. When you served as mayor of NYC, many called on you to sever ties with your company Bloomberg LP. You did not. Would you sever all business ties if you were to be elected president?

EB: Probablyo no. Pero when tu this rico, esto doesn’t mattero.

AP: Will you release your tax returns?

EB: Por que? Just accepto yo tengo todos los dinero.

AP: The word “middle class” gets thrown around a lot. Joe Biden recently said that “being middle class isn’t a number. It’s a value set”. According to many studies the 1% in the U.S. now owns more than the entire middle class combined ($25 to $18 trillion). But researchers have a variety of ways to gauge the “Middle class” domestically and globally. When you say “middle class” who are you referring to?

EB: Los middle classo estan los personas at el club de countryo who use el pool pero no allowedo en el fancyo diñing room.

AP: Turning to your record, crime plummeted in NYC during your time as mayor. To what do you attribute that?

EB: Dependo on que tu consider crimiñal. Es mucho mas facil to stop y frisko todos los everyone y arresto para marijuana than enforco los laws protectingo personas from landlordos. Yo gentrifiedo el cityo so todos los criminales can puede only affordo to vivo en nuevo jersey.

AP: During the 12 years of your administration, NYPD officers recorded 5,081,689 stop and frisks. Around 90% of stops targeted people of color. But crime has continued to fall even after the NYPD slowed stop and frisk. Were you wrong on stop and frisk? Would you encourage its use if elected president?

EB: Yo no see el color so no puede can say if los stop y frisko targeto los personas de color. Anybodyo mas than tres shades darker than mi estan invisiblé. Tambien stop y frisko estan el fantastico way to que score el weed.

AP: Where do you stand on the legalization of marijuana?

EB: Marijuana should remaiño illegal unless sold en expensivo storefrontos. En barrios yo arrestedo todos los drug dealeros.

AP: You mentioned housing, before leaving the presidential race, Mayor de Blasio was pressed on the hundreds of children exposed to lead in New York City public housing during his tenure. NYC stopped checking for lead in public housing during your term as mayor. What would you say to families in public housing whose children have been exposed?

EB: If tu no gusta el lead en el agua, vamos a tu beachcasa.

AP: Lead wasn’t checked in part because of a dire lack of federal funding. As president, would you fully fund public housing?

EB: Yo runningo para presidente por que los socialistos quiere to fullyo fundo todos. Yo soy already fully fundedo so no furthero fundingo es neccessario.

AP: As mayor you instituted calorie counts at fast food chains. You also attempted to tax sugary drinks. That tax never went through but you’ve spent millions to support similar taxes throughout the U.S. that have been enacted. Would you consider legislation on a federal level to tax sugary drinks?

EB: Yo mucho en favor of anyo taxos that no affecto me.

AP: As mayor of NYC, you extended term limits to allow yourself to run for a third term. Do you believe in term limits for the President? For Congress?

EB: Yo en favoro of limitos del termos. Esto es Americoña. If tu quieres un termo limito extensión, save tus dinero y buyo uno yourselfo.

AP: You’ve dedicated much of your time after serving as mayor, to climate change and gun control. Are there any Day One executive orders you’d issue with regards to either?

EB: Es mucho importante to protecto el environmento. Yo sigño un order executiva, dia uno, to shrinko el cabron footprinto del countryo.

AP: You’ve been outspoken against Trump’s immigration policies and supported various pro-immigration groups. Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders have called for moratoriums on deportations until we can either audit past actions on immigration and or achieve comprehensive immigration reform. Where do you stand on a deportation moratorium?

EB: Por que bother con deportation when nosotros can just gentrifyo todos los communidados immigrantos y ellos son priced out.

AP: If elected President, would you cancel Puerto Rico’s debt and supply the island with the funding it requested to rebuild post-Hurricane Maria?

EB: Yo could fixo todos los Puerto Rico con el dinero findo en mi sofa. Pero en exchango Puerto Rico must bañ los piraguas grandes.

AP: A recent New York Times/Siena College survey in six swing states also showed a near split between Democrats who want politics in Washington to go “Back to normal” (49%) and those who want to bring a fundamental systematic change American society” (45%). Which do you promise?

EB: Yo soy have done mucho wello en el past, so backo a normalo es bettero. El systemo designedo para personas like mi.

AP: Finally, you’ve been a Democrat, Republican and an Independent. Is there any chance you’d run as an independent if you lost the Democratic nomination?

EB: Yo soy alwayso put countryo before fiesta. So yo will ruñ as whichever fiesta will ayudame control el countryo.

AP: Thank you and good luck, El Bloombito. It’s great to have you back.

El Bloombito is the “niño de cabaeza” of Rachel Figueroa-Levin. She can be found at @jewyorican.


Andrew J. Padilla is a Puerto Rican artist, educator and independent journalist from East Harlem. You can follow Andrew @apadillafilm6 and learn more about him on AndrewJPadilla.com.